Ultimate Despair? No! Just Love!
by Sarroush
Summary: It was the perfect time to think of the past. She remembered her life with Junko and everything that came after the blonde. How it felt when the Ultimate Fashionista touched her, quietly confessed to her, showed her love. Begrudgingly closing her eyes, she also remembered the last time she ever saw her. JunkoxMikan Rated M partial nudity/lemon. Spoilers for DRI, DRII & DRZero.


**A/N:** I recently played Danganronpa 2. Months after finishing the first one, which I had absolutely adored. I couldn't help but really start shipping Junko x Mikan because of the latter's confessions in chapter 3. Plus I've been in love with Junko since the first game. So I decided to write this just for the heck of it.

It has spoilers for Danganronpa I, II and Zero. Contains some nudity and partial lemon. Is also yuri.

Enjoy!

* * *

She had been voted guilty. Did she care? She wasn't sure. A part of her had been ecstatic. She'd finally be able to be reunited with her beloved. Her one true love. Her Queen. Her Goddess. But on the other hand, she'd found out that a part of her lover still existed on this plain of life. It wasn't the same. She wasn't human. But when had her goddess ever been human? She smiled. This dilemma was filling her with so much despair, it reminded her of the past. A past right before The Tragedy. Almost at the execution venue, she sighed quietly.

Monokuma turned to look at her, but remained silent. Mikan smiled, grateful for having found more than her memories. Knowing who was controlling Monokuma brought utter joy to her. She knelt down, looking the stuffed animal in its eyes. Slowly moving her hand, she placed it on its soft head, patting it, once, twice, thrice, as they both remembered the past.

* * *

She slowly opened her eyes, feeling a coldness next to her that wasn't there when she'd fallen asleep. Looking around, rubbing her eyes, she wondered how long it had been since she was alone in the room. Getting up off the bed, she decided to look for her beloved in this massive school, where despair would soon hit in unimaginable ways. She found her nurse uniform thrown in a mess on a side of the room and clumsily dressed herself.

"J-Junko-san?" She mumbled as she made her way to the rooftop where she'd often find the Ultimate Fashionista...The true Ultimate Despair.

Mikan knew that the despair she and the others in the reserve courses felt was nothing compared to their leader's. A part of her was always jealous of the kind of despair Junko must have been feeling, both when she killed Yasuke and just in general.

The Ultimate Nurse was however truly scared. Every time she was around Junko, the despair she felt slowly diminished. It didn't make much sense at first. Was Junko absorbing her despair? Was that what it was? Did Junko's despair just engulf Mikan's? Did it hurt her? Was Mikan hurting Junko? Aaah...Just the thought of hurting Junko gave her a fit of despair. But when she thought of Junko, her despair vanished...

It frustrated her. Junko would probably toss her in the garbage if she noticed Mikan thinking in this manner. Just the thought of being treated like trash by her lover filled her with so much despair, it made her ecstatic. But...just as she thought of her Queen, her Goddess, that despair vanished. Of course, she knew full well that Junko wouldn't throw her away. Right? Right? She wouldn't...Right? Junko..throwing her away...Thinking of it felt incredible. The despair, the pain, the suffering...Aaaand, it was gone once again. Simply thinking of her love took all the despair away. Was it a bad thing? She didn't know. She guessed however, that love was probably stronger than despair.

The Ultimate Fashionista was sitting on the roof, a very bored look on her face. Mikan walked the few steps needed to be right behind her, sitting and wrapping her arms around the blonde's neck, holding her close.

Junko placed a hand on her arms, whispering, "Do you feel despair when you wake up all alone?"

Mikan shook her head, "No, I only feel despair whenever I am not allowed to see you," she kissed Junko's cheek.

"Then do you feel hope when around me?"

Mikan let go of the blonde who lowered her hand. She had no idea what Junko would do if she knew the truth. Was it the truth though? Did Mikan feel hope around Junko? Or was it a twisted sort of despair that didn't feel like despair because it was love? She was way too confused and yet, felt ecstatic. The despair of the unknown...the despair of not knowing what Junko would do to her..It all felt so fantastic. This was the perfect kind of torture.

"I, I don't know," she mumbled, tears threatening to fall.

There was something about Mikan. Junko wasn't sure what it was. She just couldn't put her finger on it. Whenever with Mikan, she felt no despair...instead, there was something else...Something fluffy and light. It made her want to vomit. It was different than when she was with Yasuke...It felt...better.

It irritated her. She was supposed to be the leader of Ultimate despair. Enoshima Junko was a person who got bored very easily. She usually had fun by changing her personality and manipulating people. But for some reason, though she had attempted to manipulate and use Mikan, something in her never truly let her go all the way.

Whenever with the clumsy girl, she couldn't help but want to tease her, but out of...love she admitted. She loved holding Mikan. That was probably one of her favorite things to do. That was why, every time she had her way with the girl, she left after Mikan had fallen asleep. She couldn't help it. That one denial gave her an incredible high of despair.

She couldn't understand it at all. She was in love with despair, but she was also in love with Mikan who gave her...hope. She cringed just at the thought, wanting to gag. It pissed her off.

"Ah, ah," she looked at Mikan with empty eyes.

Junko was aware that Mikan had taken on her whole 'personality' game. But she knew that the girl was honest with her most of the time. She knew the real Mikan. The difference between the nurse and the fashionista was simple. Mikan's personalities were all fake, aside from one. Junko's personalities were all real...to an extent at least. Mikan's real self showed very easily while in bed with her.

Irritated at the confusion brewing in her, she grabbed Mikan by her hair, dragging her inside. The nurse's cries and tear filled Junko up with a bit of despair. She was hurting her lover, making her cry. She loved the feeling and wondered how much Mikan was enjoying it.

"H-hey, Junko? Aren't you pulling her hair a bit too hard?" Mukuro ran up to them, a bit of worry on her face. She loved Junko so much that she'd attempted to sabotage her plans with Yasuke in an attempt to stop The Tragedy. Unfortunately, that had not worked out as planned, and instead, she'd devoted herself solely to Junko's happiness, no matter what that meant for her.

"Don't you get in my way, you ungrateful pig," the younger sister glared, as Mukuro took a step back

Having arrived to her room, she flung the door open, throwing Mikan on the bed, slamming said door behind her.

"Undress," she ordered.

A scared but excited Mikan did as she was told. She removed her apron, gently placing it on the floor. As she was unbuttoning her shirt however, Junko quickly ripped it off her, using it to tie her hands down.

"J-Junko?" She blushed, as her beloved forcefully took off her bra, exposing her well-endowed chest.

"Gorgeous as always, Mikan," she smirked, her tongue trailing between the girl's breasts, down her stomach. "I'm going to make you feel a whole new level of despair tonight."

Swallowing, Mikan's breathing began to quicken. Whatever Junko was up to, not knowing turned her on even more. She wanted Junko all over her, inside her. She wanted to belong to her beloved. Do her every bidding. Junko took off the nurse's skirt and panties all in one swift motion. She usually took her time, teasing her bit by bit, driving her mad with lust, never giving her what she'd wanted. She'd usually want Junko to instantly have her way with her. How did Junko know? How did she know that Mikan had wanted to take things slowly tonight? How did she know that Mikan wanted to be teased? Caressed? Did it matter? No. Junko would never give her what she wanted. If Mikan wanted it fast, she'd receive it slow. If she wanted it slow, she'd receive it fast.

"I know you," Junko smirked as she bent down, biting the girl's left nipple and pinching her right. Mikan let out a yelp as she felt her core quickly heat up.

"I thought you wanted it slow."

"F-forgive meeee," she drawled out, trying to get her legs between Junko's thigh in an attempt to grind to release.

"Is this what you want?" Junko positioned herself just enough for her to feel Mikan's wetness on her skin.

"Y-yes, my beloved!" The brief instant of pleasure she'd received was very quickly taken away from her, with a twisted look on Junko's face.

"Do you honestly expect me to give you what you want? When have I ever done that?"

Tears started forming in Mikan's eyes. She was aroused, so incredibly aroused. She wanted Junko to touch her all over, inside and out. Make her moan, groan, beg. She wanted Junko to break her into tiny little pieces, make her feel the despair and agony of a restricted release. She closed her eyes. She knew she was in for a long session, one she had no intention of ever forgetting.

A few hours after their four hour session, she woke up from her light sleep due to some tumbling and groaning. She was shocked to see Junko was still in bed with her. Her beloved usually tended to leave her in bed all alone after their sessions. Cupping Junko's cheek, she gave the dreaming girl a gentle kiss on the lips.

Aaah, bliss. Junko never kissed her during their sessions. She deemed it would lower the amount of despair Mikan felt. It was true. Mikan truly truly truly truly wanted to feel those lips on hers. Restricting her wishes gave her waves upon waves of despair, making her end release all the stronger. Junko mumbled a bit, slowly opening her eyes.

"Mikan," she whispered groggily as the nurse left another kiss on her despair-filled lips. The Ultimate Fashionista, now fully awake, threw her back on the bed, stealing her lips. There was something about the dream she'd had. It was filled with despair. Her plan had backfired, nothing had gone accordingly. Mukuro had betrayed her, all of Ultimate Despair had turned to Ultimate Hope. It was terrifying. The only one on her side had been Mikan, unyielding, never leaving her. The despair had been great. She'd gotten off on it, but there was a side of her that wasn't all that pleased. She didn't understand why. Why was she feeling sadness? She was overcome with such despair, she should have felt joy instead. Waking up to Mikan's lips on her's, she'd realized it. The nurse, though just like her, had slowly started changing Junko. She didn't like it one bit. Was she being moved to the side of Hope? How ridiculous. She lived off of Despair. She would die without Despair!

So why? Why was it that she saw droplets of salty water touching Mikan's cheeks. Why was it that she felt her eyes water and burn? Enoshima Junko never shed tears. So why? Why?!

Looking down at Mikan, she was shocked that the girl was smiling. Putting both her hands around Junko's head, she brought the blonde to rest on her naked chest. "There, there," she patted Junko's head 3 times, willing her to go back to sleep.

"I love you, and I will always love you, whether you're on the side of hope, despair, or love," she kissed the crying blonde's forehead.

"Love...You can have love without hope? Without despair?"

"Of course. Love is something incredibly fantastic, Junko. However, it's always strongest when paired with despair. Do you know how I'd feel if I ever lost you?" She asked the sleepy girl, stroking her hair.

"Probably the same as I'd feel if I lost you. Complete and utter despair...The cream of the crop...Ultimate despair, worse than death," she mumbled in Mikan's chest.

This caught Mikan by surprise. What shocked her even more was Junko's blatant confession, "I love you too."

* * *

Ultimate Despair, she had called this pain. Ah, it fit nicely. Her beloved's lifeless body, laying right in front of her. Unable to utter a single sound, she took the few steps needed to be hovering over it. She was gone. She was really, truly, gone. It hurt. It hurt so much. The pain, the agony, the despair. It was unbelievable. Why? Why wasn't she excited? Why wasn't she high with joy at the pain? The despair? Why did she feel this inexplicable amount of sadness?

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why couldn't she understand? Why did she feel so empty? So...lifeless, just like Junko's corpse. Why? She fell to her knees, her head resting on Junko's bloodied chest.

"Why?" She let out with a hiccup. Why couldn't she feel anything but sadness? It wasn't even despair that she was feeling. "What have you done to me?" She wrapped her arms around the cold, soon to be rock like body, as an intruder dared trespass on her sacred time.

"Mikan," he whispered, not wanting to disturbing the peaceful, sleeping corpse of his leader. "You can't have her all to yourself."

It was true. She couldn't. Their leader belonged to all of Ultimate Despair, not just her. She knew Nagito wanted a piece of Junko for himself. She could not fault him, however she felt the same way. She needed her own hands, needed her own legs as the Ultimate Nurse. So what could she take? What could she take from her beloved that would make them whole? She kissed the cold lips, tasting a bit of Junko's blood, as her hands loomed over her lover's stomach. They'd become one. No matter what. They would become one.

* * *

She opened her eyes. She noticed she'd been tied to a chair. She felt incredibly tired.

"Tsumiki Mikan," a relatively familiar voice let out.

She found the source. It was that stupid Ultimate Detective bitch. She was one of the reasons Junko had died. Instead of running away, she'd wanted to experience Ultimate Despair. Did she think her actions would give Mikan Ultimate Despair? Did Junko get what she'd wanted in the end? Did she even think of Mikan before dying?

The nurse was pissed off. She couldn't understand why she felt no despair. She was angry and sad so why? Why wasn't that enough?!

"Enoshima Junko's body had been mutilated to the point of being unrecognizable. Almost nothing had remained of her body. We know some of you took certain parts from her and implanted them on or into yourselves. We need to know what part you took."

"Why would I bother telling you, Kirigiri?"

"This is all for your sake, Mikan. Please try to understand that we are doing this to help you," Naegi Makoto said from next to Kirigiri Kyouko.

"Help me? You killed my beloved! You killed my Junko! You killed my Despair! Why would I ever want your help?! None of this would have happened if you'd all just decided to give up your stupid hope and died off!" She roared, her eyes wide open, thrashing around the chained chair.

"Calm her! Sedative, now!" The young female detective ordered. As Mikan felt the syringe enter her neck, cold liquid seeping through, she couldn't help but wonder what would happen now. She had no reason to live anymore.

"Mikan, your memories will be erased. You'll get to start your life anew, without Junko's brainwashing. You'll get to have hope, no despair. Hope is what's really important in this world," the young Ultimate Hope let out, actually believing what he was saying.

The Ultimate Nurse laughed. As much as she could anyways, given the sedatives had played with her nerves. "I will never forget what you did to her. I will never forget my love for her. I will never forget her, no matter what you do to me. She was the only one who accepted me. She was the only one who believed in me and forgave me for my existence. She was the only one who held me. Touched me. Loved me. She was the only one for me, and you took her away. You're the reason she's gone. So, when I get out of these restrictions, I'm going to find the Ultimate Despair she was looking to achieve, and I'm going to make all of you experience what she did. You're all the Ultimate Hope after all, aren't you? Your despair will be infinitely worst compared to what she felt."

She smiled, her eyes completely void of emotion. She found out why she was feeling this way. Why she didn't feel any despair at Junko's death. The only reason she'd joined Ultimate Despair was because of Junko. But Mikan's sole drive was the Ultimate Fashionista. Why would she feel the despair her lover was looking for, when her lover wasn't there to share it with her?

No. What she was feeling now, it wasn't despair. It was just complete and utter emptiness. Junko was her life. Her life was now gone. She had no reason to live anymore, did she? And yet, she'd persevere. She'd exact revenge on the people who wronged her lover. On the people who took her away. She took in a deep breath. Even if she forgot, she'd remember. She'd always end up remembering, because her love for Junko was stronger than any hope and any despair people could throw her way.

* * *

When she had contracted Despair Disease and regained her memories, Monokuma had visited her. Having explained to her the truth behind his controller, behind AI Junko, she had begun feeling conflicted. Her lover had been alive in some shape or form, as a growing artificial intelligence. Just the thought had excited her tremendously. But she couldn't touch her. Monokuma, no, AI Junko, had given her two options. She could either spend the rest of her life with the AI version of her lover, who acted and sounded the exact same as Enoshima Junko, or she could continue participating in the killing games in the hopes of one day reuniting with the real Junko, in death. Mikan didn't understand why AI Junko had decided to explain all of this to her though. She wondered if the program felt anything. Any despair or love in regards to the nurse. Was it worth it? Was staying alive and with this fake lover worth it? Or should she have reunited with her lover, her one true Junko, in death?

At the execution venue, Mikan looked to Monokuma one last time. Smiling, she announced her choice to the bear, "It's all for love." She'd get to see her again. In death, she'd get to see her one true love again.

What she would possibly soon find out however, was that she wouldn't die. No. She'd just become a vegetable, like her peers. Comatose, for however long it took to reawaken them. Just that thought would have probably caused Mikan to enter the fit of Despair she had promised the two Ultimates from Future Foundations.

As her life slipped away from her, she felt no despair. All she felt was the love she had for Enoshima Junko.

* * *

**A/N: **Pretty short oneshot. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
